I WILL BE STILL

I'm trying to be positive in every way. I'm trying to smile and laugh despite all the problems. I'm trying and striving hard to go on. I'm trying... hard, not to give up. But sometimes it's hard to hide all the feelings. I don't wanna cry 'cause i know ALL of these, will end but there are times that crying is the only way to wash away all the bad things, all the brokenness, and all the sacrifices that were wasted and led to nowhere.

"when the oceans rise and thunders roar.. i will soar with You above the storm.."

At times, i wanna escape and leave everything and just run and run and run and run...and run. But if i leave, the situation will always BE there. It'll never leave. It'll just haunt me and hurt me ALL the time.. and then i'll cry and cry again.. until i reach my weakness and i'll be forever broken.

I wanna be STILL. I really wanna be..

I'm crying right now..  but it's okay to cry, right? Or sob? Or maybe to shed a tear? I can't say this to anybody. I want to cause I want somebody to just maybe, understand me? To listen to me.. JUST LISTEN. That would be a big, great help. To just listen like I listen to them. Like I listen to those who need an ear. Like I listen to those who are alone. Like I listen to them... .......

I tend to hide my emotions inside until the time comes that i can't hold it any longer, until i'm so broken.. and then I cry my heart out on somewhere where people won't see me. Like right now..

"Father you are King over the flood.."

Know what I learn? That in this kind of situations, in this time of life, when you are in your weakness, when you are full of heartaches, when you are broken so much, when everything seems to NOT going your way, when everything seems so wrong, when everything seems so complicated, when everything you see hurts you, when the wheel of life turns and you're below it and it seems like you're stuck in it and it never turns again, when everyone shouts at you, when everything's at war, when you can't find peace, when life takes everything that's important to you, when you can't feel love, when no one listens to you... HE WILL. HE WILL.

"Find rest my soul. In Christ alone. Know His power.. in quietness and trust.."

I need a listener and He lend me His ear.
I need to cry and He wiped my tears.
I need a shoulder and He hugged me deeply.
I need a lover and He touched my heart.
I need Him, and He gave His all...

Now I need nothing, only Him and Him alone.

I WILL BE STILL I PROMISE. I'LL TRY HARDER I SWEAR. I'LL NEVER GIVE UP 'CAUSE HE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME. I'LL BE MYSELF AND BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS. I'LL LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND. I SHALL SMILE. I SHALL LAUGH. I SHALL LIVE THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS, WITHOUT HEARTACHES, WITHOUT TEARS OF SADNESS. . I SHALL LOVE...

"I will be still and know You are God... "